Everyone Wants Me to Be Emperor

I'm not being self-deprecating, but how can a commoner like me become an emperor? What? You say I have a unique appearance and am the destined emperor? That's feudal superstition, okay? Ah, don't kneel down! Rebellion is punishable by death! Ah, officer, don't kill me! I was forced, I didn't really want to rebel. Ah? Why are you kneeling? You're giving up your official position to rebel with me? My good fellows, please do as you wish, we're just passing by. Ah, no! Why are your knees so soft?