Chapter 82

EP.82 The Story of the Orphanage, Danya, and the Hymn

Only then did I carefully examine the child’s entire appearance.

My first impression remained unchanged.

I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl.

Not only the face but also the clothing was ambiguous.

It was a white garment, seamless and tubular, with a few black embroidery decorations.

It wasn’t pants, nor was it a skirt; the hem of the garment covered the knees.

It was a bit too big for the child, and anyone who saw it would think the child was wearing a blanket.

To my regret, the garment was familiar to me.

It was a choir robe.

The attire worn by the choir before singing hymns at church.

And by that alone, I could guess where the child lived.

Still, I asked to confirm.

“Do you live beyond that hill over there?”

The child nodded slightly.

There was nothing to hide.

The child came from the orphanage.

The very orphanage where I had lived and vowed never to return.

There must have been something that bothered the child so much that they ran away.

And the fact that I had already guessed the reason made me even more tired.

“...”

I had nothing to say.

How could we be so alike in our actions?

At this point, it could only be the mischief of the gods.

I sighed deeply again and took out my phone.

Just by that, the child became very anxious.

After stroking the child’s head a few times to reassure them that I wasn’t going to call the police to report a missing child, the trembling stopped.

What I saw was a conversation in the messaging app.

It had come yesterday.

“Sister, the orphanage event is tomorrow!

If you’re thinking of coming, please let me know!”

I knew who the sender was without being told.

I had laughed it off and ignored it without even replying that I wouldn’t go.

I had sworn I would never go back, thinking to myself.

The orphanage event, the choir robe, and the unexpected runaway.

I thought about the situation based on my own experiences.

So, you ran away because of that.

Even dressed up nicely.

Having quickly deduced the whole story, I gently stroked the child’s head again and asked,

“Can I know your name?”

“...Danya.”

“What’s your last name?”

“Yu...”

At least the name wasn’t exactly the same.

That would be too absurd.

“Okay, Danya.”

“Yes...”

“Is singing stressful for you?”

“...”

I didn’t need an answer to know.

During the event, there was always a showy worship service and hymn time to demonstrate our church life.

The orphanage director, known for being a devout believer, would never have skipped this part, no matter how many years had passed.

Sigh. So the director is making the kids feel stressed by holding such an event.

I understand that the orphanage needs to impress the donors, but that’s a different matter.

“Too many people?”

“That’s... okay.”

“Do you dislike it when strangers, or people who don’t usually show their faces, suddenly come and watch you?”

“...”

“The director, who usually seems like a god, is busy bowing. It feels strange. And you have to go on stage and sing, which is naturally stressful. That’s why you came outside.”

“How did you know that so well?”

This time, I was silent.

I had experienced it myself, so I naturally knew, but there was something that held me back from saying it.

And "sister." It must be a boy.

Then, I had another guess.

I spoke, considering the child’s somewhat high and thin voice.

“Soprano?”

“Wow, really? How did you know?”

I had a feeling.

Because I had been the same.

I said to the child’s wide-eyed gaze,

“I can tell at a glance.”

Still, the orphanage must be in quite a bind.

Losing a child is a big deal, and I was thinking about the hymn time.

Male sopranos are rare among children who haven’t hit puberty yet.

Especially since he disappeared at the most crucial moment of an important event, the director, who prepares extensively for the church service and hymn time, must be very worried.

“...”

For some reason, I felt like I was at a crossroads.

I pondered for a moment, but there wasn’t much I could do.

I couldn’t just leave the child and go home to play games.

Humanely speaking.

So, I followed my heart.

The scene from the past replayed in front of me like a mist.

The only difference between the past, over ten years ago, and the present was the direction of my gaze.

This time, I was the one reaching out to the child, a scene I would never forget.

“Let’s go back.”

The voice that came out of my mouth and returned to my ears was,

surprisingly tender, even without any pretense of kindness.

I didn’t know I could sound so gentle.

But the child didn’t move after hearing my words.

Of course, it’s strange to go back so soon after running away.

For the child’s sake, I offered my goodwill.

“Is there anything you want?”

“Want?”

“Yeah, anything.”

“...Too many. A bit.”

How about Hawaiian pizza?

I forced the words back down my throat and thought about the child’s response.

Too many.

I could sense the confusion of wanting everything in the world and not being able to easily prioritize them.

I considered the child again.

“You don’t have to tell me right away. If you want to, I’ll listen to anything you want to tell me. If you come back now.”

“Really?”

“Of course. But just one thing.”

“...”

After hesitating for a long time, the child took my hand.

Thanks to my persuasion, but more importantly, the child seemed to understand their situation.

They must have stormed out in a fit of anger, but they needed somewhere to go.

I could tell the child was thinking like the typical orphanage kid who doesn’t want to upset the director.

You’re smarter than I was.

So, I ended up going back to the orphanage again, unexpectedly.

With the child.

...

...

...

“Sister!”

“...”

“I knew you’d come!”

“I didn’t plan to...”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“No, it’s really...”

“And Danya came too!”

“It’s just that... I thought she was lost.”

“You look so beautiful today too!”

“Well...”

“But, wow, why does it smell so much like alcohol? Did you...”

“...Hehe.”

“No! Drinking in the daytime is bad for your health!”

“...”

“You didn’t answer my calls, but I understand if something came up. And you were smiling so beautifully on your way here? Even to strangers...”

“What’s the problem?”

“I can’t live!”

Why so many complaints?

If you’re going to nag, just call me sister. Okay?

At the orphanage, we were greeted by Si-eun, who was pacing anxiously at the entrance.

She looked relieved and thanked me when she saw us.

But then she started nagging...

What’s the big deal about smiling at people?

Everyone likes it.

“Anyway, that’s settled. The service is almost over, so we need to prepare quickly.”

“For what?”

“Of course, the hymn time follows right after... Oh, you might not know. The Danya you brought is... She has the most important part, so it would be very problematic if she’s not here. She was supposed to be preparing backstage already.”

“But...”

“It’s a bit risky, but it’s not too late if we go now. Let’s hurry.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“Eh?”

I don’t want to go.

The words that poured cold water on Si-eun’s hopes didn’t come from my mouth.

Danya, with a pout, said it to Si-eun.

Si-eun’s face fell instantly.

It was a look of helplessness, a bit too mature for a high school girl.

“Danya?”

“I don’t want to.”

“You promised your sister to sing today.”

“I don’t want to anymore.”

“Singing on stage would be really cool, you know?”

“I already said I don’t need it.”

“The director will praise you, and the other kids will see you differently.”

“I don’t need it.”

“Your sister will be proud and buy you something nice...”

“I don’t need it.”

“...That’s too much.”

“I don’t need it at all!”

The child was stubborn.

Si-eun’s attempts to calm her only managed to prevent Danya from sitting on the ground.

Si-eun looked at me with a pained expression.

What do you want me to do?

“Sister...”

“...”

Sigh.

I’ve never taken care of a child, so how could I solve this?

But Si-eun’s eyes were too pleading to ignore.

I asked the child beside me, without hiding my confusion.

“Do you not like singing?”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“...”

Another silence followed by contemplation.

The child didn’t seem to want to talk.

I waited silently instead of pressing.

After a while, the child spoke.

“I actually like singing...”

“Then why not?”

“Too many people...”

I understood, but I didn’t interrupt.

“The church is so big. They said it would be packed...”

“Yeah.”

“And I have to sing alone. Just thinking about being up there alone, with everyone watching, is scary...”

“